Getting Over Your First love

If you have been following my blog you already know that I break every blogging rule in the book. I don’t post often and many times I don’t follow the rule of staying with the same theme. Really my blog follows the pattern of my mind which varies from time to time. Which brings me to the subject of this blog:

”first Love”.

When I started thinking about the thought of first love, I thought about the first girl I fell in love with. I know that this should be easy to remember but it’s not.You see when I tried to remember I had to go through my mind and evaluate the different girls I knew growing up. I had to decide if I was going to include girls who I never told I loved them.Or was I going to only deal with girls with whom I had some type of relationship.What would be the criteria for girls I considered my first love. The point I am making here is that even what seems to be an obvious question with an obvious answer is not so obvious when you put it under the microscope. I hear many of you saying in your mind, your heart should have given you the answer in a matter of seconds. The truth is the heart is what made this seemingly simple task hard in the first place.

The first girl I thought about was the first girl I kissed. But because I kissed her didn’t mean she was the first girl I loved. Then I thought about the girl that I thought about the most. But after doing this I realized that many of the girls I thought about a lot had nothing to do with love but was mostly lust.So after a minute or two I narrowed it down to first girl friends and then to the girlfriend who had impacted me the most.

That is how I discovered my first love.I didn’t I know this was my first love until I really thought about it. How did I know she was my first love.I got sick after we broke up ( I really got psychically sick ) when we broke up. I loved this girl so much that I got sick when she broke up with me. Can you believe that?

I probably shouldn’t have told you that story, but I had to do it in order to make a point. We don’t always love things for the right reason. I need to say that again ( we don’t always love things or people for the right reason. You see my first love was all about seeking self approval. I was just happy that someone I approached had accepted my advances. I thought because this girl wanted to spend time with me she felt the same way about me. But to discover something totally different hurt and it was through this pain that learned a valuable lesson.

Be careful who you love and always love yourself more. Some of you may not belieive this statement, but no one loves some one who does not love them self. You see if you don’t love yourself you don’t have any love to give to anyone else.

“This is a important fact if you don’t love yourself when someone like my first love takes there love away you don’t have anything left. But when you love yourself you have enough love to share with everyone you come in contact with.”

This will sound strange at first and will require careful thought (Love Loves Love). What I mean by this is love brings more love. When you love yourself you attract people who love you, but when you don’t love yourself you make it hard for others to love you. My first love thought me valuable lesson that I still live by today, don’t give your love away, keep a little for yourself. People love people who love themselves and have enough love left over to share.

I saw my first love some years later at a concert alone, I was attending solo as well. In passing she stopped dead in her tracks when she saw me. Her eyes fixed on me, no longer that skinny confused kid who’s heart she had broken many years ago. She had a loneliness in her eyes , she asked how I was doing I answered very well. We exchanged numbers and had a little conversation. I actually felt good about seeing her as I walked away, and I have laughed many time since remembering the shocked look on her face when she saw me, almost as if she was embarrassed for breaking up with me.

Life for me has become like that first love. I thank life for every lesson good and bad it has thought me. I am thankful for every time life has broke it off with me and walked out on me, it has left me a stronger person and made me love myself a little more. And just like my first love I leave much of it in the past so that I can enjoy today and move on.